Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
