Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
