my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im holly from the hills drunk
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
