Three words: puerto rican gang bang
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
