I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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