WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
