Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
