Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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