fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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