you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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