His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
