she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
