dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
