he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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