Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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