Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
