The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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