is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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