I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
