I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
