she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
