don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
