I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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