you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
