she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize