The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to make out with him forever
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
