what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
