I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
