My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
