I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
