one word: firstdatebathroomanal
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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