sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
