Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
