Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
