she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
