She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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