Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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