The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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