So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
