I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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