My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
