What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
