Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
