i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
