There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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