Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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