Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
