no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i think i just lost a toe
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