I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
