idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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