i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he shaved USA in his pubs
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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