Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
