Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I will be naked everywhere
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
