Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
