garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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