That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
