in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
