for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
