i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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