you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
